Hello everyone, I hope you’re all fine by God’s grace. Today, we’re continuing with our series on friendship by talking about the common saying “The friend of my friend is my friend”.
I don’t know whether it’s the same thing for you, but when I am just from befriending someone I kind of want all of my friends to know my new friend. I want them to like this new person who’s just from entering my life and I need them to approve of him/her.
Likewise, when I am the new friend in a group I usually need everyone (or at least a majority) to approve of me.I need them to validate my character and my presence in the group, and when 9 in 10 of the group validates me, but one person doesn’t, I focus on the one who doesn’t approve of me and I kind of don’t even “see” the 9 who are OK with me being there. Do you identify to this?
I believe the idea that the friend of my friend should absolutely be my friend if I were normal or if he/she were normal puts so much pressure on us. So much so that we feel this need to be approved by the friends of our friends, and if they don’t then we think we have a problem. Also, when we bring a new friend into the group and the new friend doesn’t get to be approved by the others, at times we just isolate the new friend and think he/she has a problem.
Why do we do that? Why can’t we just realise that two people can be really nice girls or guys, without forcefully having to become friends? If x guy/girl didn’t become friends with y guy/girl it doesn’t forcefully mean that x has a problem, or that y has a problem. They may just not become the best friends ever on earth. They may have affinity with other people but not necessarily each other, and this shouldn’t be a problem.
It becomes a problem, when we isolate someone just because some other person doesn’t like them.
It becomes a problem when we reject someone (who was really a nice and lovely person in The Lord) just because the others didn’t approve of them.
It becomes a problem, when we can’t live any longer without the approval and validation of our friends, or of the friends of our friends (or at times even our family).
Galatians 1:10 NIV
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
It becomes a problem, when our mother, or father, or siblings don’t approve of our husband/wife and want to destroy our marriage and we let them do so. We let them because we need their approval and their validation, because we just don’t care that God has united us in marriage already and that we have become one. How come that we leave aside the fact that we’ve married someone who’s really awesome and who loves The Lord, and we’re ready to destroy a sacred union due to the disapproval of our family just for free, not for any reason, but just for free?(Though the object of this post isn’t marriage, it applies to it too, and someday God willing, we’ll talk about marriage).
Genesis 2:24 KJV
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Matthew 19:4-6 NIV
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
It becomes a problem when we try to find out worth in the friends of our friends (who may reject us, or just not like us for free), instead of finding it in God.
1 Samuel 16:7 KJV
for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart
The friend of my best friend may never become my best friend, but I know that in Christ Jesus I have The One Friend Who Never Lets me Down.
Proverbs 18:24b KJV
there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
People may reject me, but Jesus Christ has accepted me.
People may not love me but Jesus Christ loves me.
Jeremiah 31:3 KJV
The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying , Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.
They may not choose me but God chose me.
John 15:16a KJV
Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you,
Do you need affirmation? Approval? Validation? Proof that you are loved? Then look at the Cross of Jesus Christ, and realize that He demonstrated all that towards you when He gave His life on that Cross for you.
You don’t need to be completed by your friends, or the friends of your friends, God has already completed you, at the Cross . You are complete in Christ Jesus.
Colossians 2:9-10 KJV
For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily.  And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power:
Colossians 4:12b KJV
… that ye may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God.
Finally, when you receive His love at the cross, you become able to share it to others around you.
In order to learn more about being complete in Christ Jesus, you can follow this link to a very interesting video on the topic. It’s a sermon by pastor Steven Furtick from Elevation Church.
Father Lord God Almighty, please teach me to be friendly towards others. Help me not to seek validation from them, but to find it in You, and to treat others as I would like them to treat me. Help me realize that I am complete in You. I pray in Jesus Christ’s Name. Amen.
God bless you all
Thanks for reading
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