Hello everyone, I hope you’re all fine by God’s grace. Today’s post is about how to deal with a friend who refuses to forgive you.
The world is made up of imperfect people. I am not perfect, you’re not perfect, no body is perfect. This surely explains why two imperfect people can’t build a perfect relationship. Conflicts and misunderstandings often arise. At times we hurt and blame each other. We may have difficulties in acknowledging the other one’s feelings, and it may be hard for us to apologize. At last,when we make the courageous, loving, sincere step of apologizing first, recognizing our faults, we expect to be forgiven by the other.
What then should we do when our friend refuses to forgive us, in spite our desire to obtain their forgiveness and regain their trust?
1. Check your approach
Colossians 4:6 KJV
Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
Some people just don’t know how to apologize and recognize where they went wrong.
Some other people appear so proud and intimidating, that even when they apologize, it appears like they aren’t sincere.
It’s up to you to know how your friend sees you, and to find the best approach to apologize, stating clearly what you did wrong, why you regret and what you would do differently if you could.
2. Acknowledge their feelings
Nehemiah 2:2 NIV
so the king asked me, “Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart.” I was very much afraid,
When someone’s angry with you, or hurting because of you, you don’t speak to the situation but first to their feelings. You have to acknowledge the fact that you hurt them. Don’t say anything like “you’re exaggerating” “you’re too sensitive “” I wouldn’t take things so seriously if I were you”
First recognize that people have different sensitivities, and if you’ve hurt them it’s important that you talk about it and that they express everything that they feel.
3. Learn from it
James 1:21-22 NIV
Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.
When you ask for forgiveness from someone, the person is free to forgive you or not. That’s called “freewill”. God gives us freewill, the same freewill you have to forgive someone else or not, is the same freewill that your friend has to forgive you or not.
In case your friend forgives you, it’s a grace. You have to learn a lesson from what you did, in order not to do the same mistakes again in future with them.
In case your friend doesn’t forgive you ever, you still have to learn a lesson. May be God permitted that this friend should leave your life after something you did, in order for you to realize the consequences of your actions, to repent sincerely before God, and to change.
In any case, learn from it and become someone better in The Lord.
Eternal Lord King of Glory, help me learn from my mistakes and become a better person in The Lord. Touch the hearts of every person I have ever hurt, that they may forgive me. In Jesus Christ’s Name I pray. Amen
Thanks for reading.
God bless you all.
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