Hello everyone, I hope you’re all fine by God’s grace. The title of today’s post suggests its meaning i.e we’ll be talking about what forgiveness is NOT.
1. Forgiveness isn’t saying it didn’t happen
If we say it didn’t happen it’s virtually like we’re lying or denying. Perhaps we think that by saying many times that it never happened we’ll be able to wipe it away. Nevertheless, we can’t clear it off, the scars are still very present.
Jesus Christ forgave us for nailing Him on The Cross while the nails were being inserted into His body.
When He rose from the dead, He didn’t act like there had never been any cross, He didn’t deny what He suffered, because what He suffered was real, but it didn’t stop Him from forgiving, because He accepted to suffer out of love for us. He taught us how to deal with those who hurt us.
2. Forgiving isn’t forgetting
Perhaps we try to push the memory away, but it doesn’t change the offense. It doesn’t change what was done to us, what made us cry, what hurt us or what tormented us.
You may never ever forget what that person did to you, but it doesn’t have to hold you back from living your life to the fullest in The Lord. Also, stop feeling guilty for having not been able to forget what was done to you, if you’ve forgiven and moved on, then that’s the most important.
3. Forgiveness is NOT a feeling
You will feel the pain, but you can’t FEEL the forgiveness. You can’t feel it when you have forgiven someone, you can’t feel that you are now ABLE to forgive.
Forgiveness isn’t a feeling but a choice of faith and a choice of love. When you forgive, you are just demonstrating your nature as a child of God, because the same forgiving nature of God has been granted to you in Christ Jesus, you may not feel like but you are more than able to forgive, that’s how He designed you in Him, in His likeness, in His image . It may seem hard, but if you have faith that God has given you this ability of His to forgive you’ll be able to decide to forgive and to stick to it.
4. Forgiveness isn’t justifying what was done
Some people cope with what was done to them by accusing themselves of what they suffered. “After all it was my fault if…”. Otherwise, they make excuses for the one who hurt them “Maybe I would have done the same….”, or “It wasn’t his/her fault if….” but that’s not forgiveness.
Forgiveness says “I know you did this, I know you were wrong, or I know you hurt me but I forgive you anyway”
4. Forgiveness doesn’t mean it won’t hurt any longer
You may forgive someone but still feel that pain in your heart every single time you think about it. The pain doesn’t mean you haven’t forgiven, it just means that it hurts.
Thanks to God, you don’t have to remain there, suffering because of what x, y or z did to you. Jesus Christ died on The Cross of Calvary in order to heal you from whatever thing you went through. You can turn to Him and find healing in your situation, and your open wound will turn to scars. Everytime you’ll look at those scars you’ll just remember how much God has loved you and been there for you.
6. Forgiveness is NOT restoration
It’s not because you’ve forgiven someone who likes to bully you in school that you’ll sit next to this person in class every single day, knowing perfectly well that this person bullied you yesterday, the day before, the week before, the whole year, and is still going to bully you today, and tomorrow, and next week, and the whole of next year if he/she has the opportunity to do so. Forgiveness shouldn’t keep you stuck in dysfunctional relationships.
You can forgive someone but remember that nothing compels you to restore the person to where he/she was before hurting you. You have the right (and at times the obligation) to set in some barriers in order to protect yourself, to move away for as long as you need, to let go of the relationship for your own good. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’ll trust the person as before, that’s it.
Now that we know what forgiveness is NOT, I will invite you to search deep in your hearts for those wounds and to let God heal them once and for all. Choose today to forgive those who’ve hurt you, don’t count on your feelings for that, but on His love and His power.
God bless you all.
Father Lord God Almighty, thank You for setting me free by teaching me what forgiveness is NOT, and by showing me how much You’ve made me able to forgive even when it hurts a lot, I pray that You help me choose to set my self free always by forgiving and letting go, so that You may heal me completely, in Jesus Christ’s Name I pray. Amen
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